#464

I have some kind of sick complex. I can't bear to look at pictures of myself. I realized that just a few minutes ago that it's real bad. I've effectively destroyed most pictures I had of myself because I see a fuck ugly monster. Maybe it's because of the guilt and stuff. No, I shouldn't give a shit. It isn't myself I have to look at and all that. Still, it makes me guts twist just to see. I've never really heard anything but positive from girls in my lifetime at least but it's the selftalk that is always the loudest isn't it? I just have to accept myself one day. God damn. I wish I was sane like you, like everyone else, who can look at themself in an image and not want to kill who they see.