#360

Either her sister is watching, or... This is why I waste my time with games. Thinking is definitely not a good thing for me. There is nobody capable or anything else strong enough to stop thoughts. Medications never really helped me; they either made my rage grow to insane levels to the point where the smallest things made me about to kill you, or made me gash my arms til they were dripping. They didn't even get me high. I have to keep my mind busy or else I tend to crash, big time. I was just fighting off this horrible sinking feeling not too long ago, realizing it's been so long so obviously she really did stop caring... Grr. It's been a while since I let myself think about how I feel. I don't fucking like it. I must keep my mind occupied 24/7 or it will be bad. Very bad. As long as I am occupied, all is well. For everyone.