#197

I have been up for over 32 hours straight now. And yet somehow I see things more clearly than I ever have before, just as the natives said would happen. I now know what it is like to be expendable. I waited and I hoped for so long to be accepted again but...I obviously wasn't and will never again be. Shame. However I am worth more than to sit and suffer for others' decisions. My thoughts are with you, though, though you'll never hear it. But you don't need the person to see it for it to matter. The last while I have experienced tons of loss. Two Felicia's for the price of one. Hell, I lost a lot of people, but yet gained some more. I'd say things are looking up regardless. Especially with what I gained not too long ago... I am not sleepy. I feel as though I slept for days. i.e., well rested. So I built some things today that needed to be built and now I have some light in here once more to show for it. A little productivity doesn't hurt anyone. I enjoy working on my piece of shit site and I am looking forward to some more things that are on the way. No, Debbie, today isn't a good day to die. It's a good day to live.