#180 - Satisfaction

I feel much better now. It amazes me how well you feel when you speak from your heart from time to time. And even if she doesn't read it, well, that's okay. I gave her a chance to and that is all that matters. I put myself out there, and my heart. I appreciate what she's done for me in her day, though. I really do. She's done more for me in many ways than even anyone in my family. She's one of a kind. I feel a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Even though I will still probably never ever get a chance to say hello again I can still rest knowing that I didn't make the "last word" a lesson in atrocity. Hopefully she'll see that I meant well at the very least. You know, I'm not all evil. And all this without any smokes. Sometimes I amaze myself. Seems that even I can have some inner strength when I truly want to have it. No need to have a breakdown and say bitter, angry words towards anyone even though I may feel a little down. Anyways, it's all worked out great and I cannot wait for the Horror Convention in Toronto on Aug 26 with my brother and hopefully Ben and his girlfriend Jen. $40 buys a pass for the three days. I plan on getting a lot of signatures and bringing a wad of cash with me to buy all the horror goods!