Through the looking glass

After thinking for a very long time I have come to the conclusion that it's time that I learn to forgive. The gaping wound in my heart has bled for many a year and has thus burdened me with an emotional weight too much for me to bear alone. Even now it is hard. But it is time to free that burden or I too will succumb to a fate I will never return from (but it may be too late). So I forgive you, dad. I forgive you for what you've done. You were better off this way, as I know you suffered a lot yourself in your life, and I know it was selfish for me to hate you for this long for your act of suicide. You can now rest in peace knowing that your only son forgives you for what he felt you have taken away from him. I needed you most then as any teenage boy needs his dad, and I have taken out my frustrations on many people because of it. Your act of salvation was a trauma that really fucked me up emotionally over the years...but I forgive you. Now the only question that remains is...will you forgive me? As for the others... I will get to you eventually. Good night.